Retro-RTMI: Lupin III Rewatch – Episodes 1-2

They get onto a gigantic luxury cruise (the largest ship so far) on its maiden voyage. That give you Titanic vibes? Well you know what’ll happen to this cruise, don’cha?

Despite this shocking (not really) revelation, Lupin tells everyone to relax, enjoy, and wait for their enemies to reveal themselves. Good ole’ Lupin being cool and unthreatened. And then Zenigata shows up.

As the old story goes, they agree to a truce while they have a common enemy (Zenigata got lured in, too). The gang enjoy what the cruise has to offer, but get attacked by a killer dentist chair, a masseuse, and sharks. In the pool. Before the villain of the day exhausts his store of ACME-approved killing devices, (Sharks in the pool? Seriously?) they finally get invited to a dinner banquet to settle things. It’s just the gang, though; Zenigata complains that he’s eating cup noodles while watching security cameras.

During the banquet, the ceiling falls, and another dozen people are added to the “dead, unlucky bystanders” list. I mean it; a lot of people die in this episode. Of course, the Lupin gang survives. And then they get transported via hydraulics into the bowels of the ship.

It’s not an after-dinner party, though. In what looks like a large, empty cargo hold, they meet the guy who is explained to be an old adversary. He strips (dear god) to reveal that he’s completely bionic, now, and just to prove how badass he is, he challenges the Lupin gang to kill him because he’s so confident of his indestructibility.

Yyyeeeaaah, like that’s ever worked for any classical villain.

To go the extra mile, he even gives them a full array of assault rifles, bazookas, and vehicles. Naturally, Goemon uses none of these and relies on his sword. Which surprisingly doesn’t work. So write that down as one of the things Goemon can’t slice in half: naked bionic gorillas. Not so surprisingly, Jigen gets pwned too.

Oh no! With the muscle of the group down, what are Fujiko and Lupin to do? Well, they pick the least armored cars from the line of vehicles, crash them, set off the sprinklers which fill the hold in a foot of water in less than ten seconds, shoot a spotlight grid into the water, and watch from safety as the electricity zaps their enemy. How the hell does that even work? First rule: you don’t question Lupin III.

With gay Silver Surfer down, they escape from the cargo hold. Turns out the villain isn’t dead yet, though, and he activates the ship’s self-destruct system. Because, y’know, all villainous structures have those.

As thousands of people die in the explosions and sinking ship, the Lupin gang survive. We see them next on a curiously well-constructed, makeshift raft, with Fujiko mourning the loss of an expensive ship. Lupin mourns more important things: his rival, Zenigata. No solemn word for the victims of the sunk ship. Then again, they were mostly rich bastards anyway.

Suddenly, redemption!

Yeah, that’s Zenigata after escaping from a sinking ship by riding…a sea turtle. Jack Sparrow’s got nothing on him. The cast all alive, the episode ends with Zenigata chasing Lupin.

This being a 70′s cartoon, you’ll get your funny (and not “haha” funny, the “he looks stupid” funny) villain. This one was a tad lower than those standards, though, and made me wonder, “were Lupin III villains always like this?”. He may be meant to be a goofy villain, but even with Funimation’s choice of voice for him, he still didn’t quite take that last step to become funny. And then there were inconsistencies, like Goemon’s special sword breaking (it gets better next episode, and if I remember correctly fixing that sword of his is not easy). Jokes in this episode can be a little too dry at times and come far and few between, but that could be explained by Funimation’s script. Although, the usual slapstick is there, and the situations can get silly enough to be humorous.

And since I mentioned the dub, I might as well point out that the lines are at times delivered awkwardly at this point, and the timing needs a little work. It’s to be expected, though; it’s the first episode and the voice actors are just working out the characters, and it’s a minor thing. I just thought I should mention it.

This not being a heist episode (which is often where the show shines the most) and the villain being as ineffective as he is, this episode’s skippable. As a normal episode it’s average at best, but as the first one, it’s a weak way to begin the series. There are far better episodes than this.

Rasen rating: 3 out of 5

EPISODE 2: Buns, Guns, and Fun In the Sun

This would’ve been a better first episode. It features a heist, it shows Lupin’s preference for flair over stealth, and it has Zenigata actually do something. Plus, it sets the bar for heists to come. What better way to kick off the show than for Lupin to steal one of the Seven Wonders of the World?

Rio de Janeiro is the setting for this episode’s heist. The crew arrives, exchanges some words in the Macarana stadium, and implies that they’re going to steal the ticket sales (and lotto) for the biggest football game of the year.

I find it funny how American Jigen is in this episode. I guess there is some truth to his supposed Chicago mobster back story. Then again, this could be just the dub referencing that…

Moving on. The next scene we see a truck somehow climb up the stairs to the Christ the Redeemer statue and ram into it. You know, that giant Christ with arms open? The one that gets destroyed in the movie 2012? Yeah, that statue. They punch a hole in it with the truck. A large, gaping hole. Man, Brazilians are gonna get pissed. And by “they” I mean Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon.

Now in jail, the three get visited by Zenigata, who is of course called in when anything Lupin-related happens around the globe. If you know Lupin like Zenigata does, you know the guy wouldn’t get caught on purpose without something in mind.

While “Old Pops” tries to figure out what that is, Lupin’s plan is set in motion. Fujiko busts them out of jail using a very unlikely means. And by “unlikely” I mean “are these guards stupid and blind?” Maybe all the technology in the prison made them complacent and incompetent.

Long story short, they leave the prison and commit the robbery without being noticed, but Zenigata finally follows his instincts and discovers their escape. Strangely enough, Lupin’s plan includes an alibi. But since that didn’t go as planned, he goes to Plan 2.

And what is Plan 2? Why, stealing a giant statue, of course!

Apparently the loot is stuffed inside the statue. Why rip the Christ the Redeemer from its foundations when they could’ve escaped in the giant helicopter? I dunno. This is Lupin we’re talking about.

Brazil still has Zenigata on their side, though, and they catch up with significant backup. What then ensues is a helicopter battle even worse than 2-D Nintendo videogames. Now I don’t usually nitpick art and animation in an old cartoon like this, but this part just boggles me.

The statue is flashing. And I have no idea why.

Lupin and the gang escape through some hilarious irony, but lose the loot anyway because it leaks out of Jesus’s bottom. I mean the money falls out of the statue.

Just another bad day for Lupin the Third.

Something trippy happens which I will not spoil, and then the episode closes.

Again, this was a better episode than the last. It’s Lupin at his finest. My gripe with this episode’s scheme, though, is that it involves quite a lot of luck. More than your average crazy Lupin III scheme. And despite the theft/destruction of a country’s national treasure, the robbery of the money itself was lackluster. The script and dubbing is a little better for this episode, and it got more (but not many) laughs from me. All in all it was enjoyable.

Rasen rating: 4 out of 5